yeah... the past week has been....... yeah.

I was right in a previous post. this week WAS hellish. just... not in the way i thought.

but i'm not gonna talk about that right now. the first half of this post is for happy (-ish) things!

so chibi-chan's holding an anti-prom party on saturday night, and we have to dress 'nice'. i don't know how 'nice' to dress. help please?

then we're going to post-prom after, so it should be fun. prom=spending rather exorbitant amounts of money to feel like a third wheel, post prom=spending NO money to feel like a third wheel and hang out with other third wheels.

and yes Kaitlyn, it IS yay that i got my stitches out. it didn't hurt (except when the one that scabbed over was unceremoniously pulled out), it just felt...weird. instead of thread, they used fishing line-like stuff to sew me up, so it was just a pulling feeling.

ummmmmm *searching for more good stuff*

oh yeah! i found a silly band on the floor the other day. you know, those shaped rubber bands? i found a pear! though people think it's a whale.....

oh, and LAST SECTION OF PSSAs IS OVER!!!!!!!! except the writing one that i have to make up. but that doesn't count. my last pssa ever!!!!!

and my biotech final was not as bad as i thought it would be. not sure if that's a good or a bad sign... but apparently my entire class relies on me to know everything so they can ask me questions that they don't know.

as for the in between stuff, my english teacher told me that she and Rachel spoke. about me. again, not sure if that's a good or a bad thing...

now for the not-so-good stuff. i really don't want to put this on here, but i made a promise to myself, and i trust you guys that you won't copy-paste this to your facebook or anything.

i nearly broke this week. a lot of stuff happened, and was supposed to happen. right now, i'm supposed to be in a hotel room with the girls from science olympiad. unfortunately, i was not made aware of the deadlines, and thus could not meet them. so i couldn't go. that, plus i was really stressed about my biotech final, my SAT's on saturday, post prom, and presenting my grad project on tuesday, my drivers test on that wednesday, and the senior grad proect expo (aka 8 hours of formal presentations) on the 11th. plus i wasn't allowed to take pain medication for my thumb. i really don't want to say this, but i honestly considered taking as many tylenol as i could or trying to get an addiction. i just didn't know how else to cope with the pain.

emotionally distressed

most likely depressed

suicidal and

clinging to apathy as the mortar that holds my crumbling facade together

that's me!

well, i got my stitches out...

and my Biotech final's tomorrow. and i haven't studied.

i'll post more tomorrow...

working on posting more...

Response to comments:

Rachel: I haven't named him yet! suggestions please? kaitlyn: i would have laughed my HEAD off if i heard Birdman say that. and no, i don't think Sween even noticed him!

anyway, i'm going to tell you guys about my day. writing PSSA's whoo. because of envirothon, we missed the first day, so i started the section that i missed. after getting a very stern look from the proctor (my chemistry teacher haha), i actually worked on the section that we were supposed to do, answering a prompt about 'Online classes versus In-school classes'. i finished in about 15 minutes, and sat and read for the remaining 45. oh, and i listened to music, though my earbuds broke (they only make sound out of the left one), so i had to wear my aviator headphones. it was kinda weird, because i was wearing my green envirothon shirt, a red hoodie, my red headphones, and my ipod's green! i felt like christmas in july! well, more like christmas in april, but still!

so math i took the first half of my final exam, because we have a lot of seniors that are leaving for job shadowing in early may. the second half is tomorrow. and biotech i'm not allowed to work with bacteria 'cause of my cut. it made me sad.... T.T

but i had to leave early from biotech today because i had to renew my passport, and so did Rachel's Biotech-Boy. i'll call him..... FHoR. yeah, FHoR fits. (Future Husband of Rachel XP). so he had to leave at the same time, and it was nice, because the teacher lumped us together from the beginning so we wouldn't leave other partners stranded, and even though i wasn't allowed to touch anything, i had to wear sterile gloves, and he helped me put the left one on over my splint. and he also discovered the wonders of two things, pasteur pipettes (apparently, they make a funny noise when squeezed, so he alternated between following me and following his friend around while holding it about two inches from our ears), and a test-tube clamp. it kinda looked like a cyborg-velociraptor hand, with two prongs on one side and one on the other that fit between them. he enjoyed clamping it onto things (including the faucet and myself), then stuck it inside his sleeve and made pterodactyl noises for a while, when i pointed out that he was imitating the wrong dinosaur, he attacked me with a hot-mitt (a flexible rubber cup that goes over your hand when you handle hot stuff). i fended him off with a rubber duck, then he took it and clamped its head in the cyborg-velociraptor clamp. then we had to go, and he actually waited for me and held the door open (*gasp!* perhaps chivalry's rigor mortis is not complete yet!)! then we walked out, talking first about sports (and how much they hate me), then about classes. apparently, AP Calculus is actually easier than Honors Calc! he swore it was true, and i'm going to trust him and talk to my counseler. i swore that i would hunt him down if he was lying, to which he replied "you'd need a facebook!". to which i wrinkled my nose at him and waved bye-bye.

post over, night night!

Kat

good news and... slightly-less-than-good news

good news first!!!

the nerd-club (aka envirothon) team that i was on won the county competition today!! we placed first in four of the five categories (current-event-also-known-as-groundwater, wildlife, aquatics, and forestry!) forestry's my event, and we got a 76 when all the other teams got less than 55!! so that was reassuring. also, in wildlife, we had to identify birdcalls, and Birdman identified one as a blue jay. it turned out that it was a mockingbird imitating a blue jay. he argued, and we got that point! so arguing DOES work! also, we all (all three teams from our school) had lunch together in the sun outside the pavilion, just sitting on the ground and talking while we ate. Chibi-chan made brownies, Fish (the aquatics person on my team and one of my best friends in elementary school) made sugar cookies, and i made candy, so we passed everything around and talked and it was literally one of the best days i've ever had. there was just something about being able to talk and good-naturedly tease and relax around people that just seemed like a breath of fresh air to me. i zoned out and dozed off a bit laying in the grass, in the sun. and with Rachel and Kaitlyn and Chibi-chan and Manga-dealer-chan around me, i just felt... safe i guess. also, like Otaku-chan, i have a few interesting stories from today.

1) we had to identify two different trees for forestry. after deciding that one was definately a red oak, we moved on to the other. in order to identify this tree, Birdman (who is also in my group) decided to break of a leaf and stick it in his mouth. he abruptly yanked it out of his mouth, yelling 'ah, tastes like a b*expletive!!*h!'. then he spat repeatedly. we later found the tree to be a hickory, which is (thankfully) not poisonous in the least. Birdman reportedly had the taste in his mouth until lunch, when he gargled with Sprite.

2) this pales in comparison to Birdman's win/fail, but winning was pretty cool. we were called up for winning aquatics individually, then the lady that was announcing it told us 'you might as well just stay up here', then announced us the winners of the other three events.

3) oh yeah, and i think this trumps all for now. we got free t-shirts from the envirothon people, and the teacher that supervises us told us to all gather around a tree for a group picture. Birdman was not there to hear her say that, so he was walking up to where we were while we were walking away. Rover (the soil-person on my team) yelled to him 'take off your jacket and get over here!' because he had a jacket on over his shirt, but he didn't hear him. so i just told him 'Birdman, just strip and follow us'. he laughed and proceeded to jokingly over-dramatically take off his jacket. oh, and once the picture was taken, we all walked over to the 2-3 picnic tables under the pavilion that we claimed as ours, and i took off my envirothon shirt because it was hot and i just wanted to wear the shirt i already had on. Rachel was walking around taking pictures, and she tried to take one of me. i looked at her flatly and asked her if she was actually going to take a picture of me stripping. after that, one of the girls in a different team but who was also from our school (i don't have a nickname for her yet) came up behind me and started to make the sounds that often come when exaggerated-stripping occurs, like the 'mph-tss mph-tss' sounds. i don't really know how else to describe it, but it just added to the awesomeness of the day.

4) when the teacher made us take another picture after we recieved our awards (we placed 1, 2, and 3), a kid from another team from another school came up behind her and gave her moose antlers, then bunny ears. it was the icing on top of the cake of a perfect day, and it extracted genuine smiles from the tired group that we made.

oh yeah, the not-so good news. on sunday night, around 8 o'clock (after i already made the candy that i brought to envirothon), i somehow managed to put a kitchen knife through my thumb. i was chipping hard caramel out of the bottom of a baking dish (recipe was off and it dried too hard for me to use) with a knife instead of using a spatula. i went to the er, and ruined two dishtowels and about half a roll of paper towels in the ride over. the er was pretty packed, so i was there pretty late, but it was ok. when i got treated, i got three x-rays to make sure that i didn't chip the bone in my thumb or anything (i didn't), then got about 5-6 ccs of a pain medication that blocks the sodium-potassium exchange in nerve cells, thus deadening them. the only reason i know that is that i had to keep talking to the physician that sewed me up so i wouldn't be screaming and crying hysterically (the pain meds didn't work so well), and he was quite forthcoming with information. i got three stitches where the knife went in, and two where it came out. they're loose so it can drain, but i saw them when i took off the dressing last night, and they didn't look too bad. they stopped bleeding, anyway. oh, and according to the physician, i only lost about half a cup of blood in the whole thing, which isn't that bad at all, considering the average adult has about 6 pints of blood in their body. oh, and because i was so good, i got a boo-boo bear! it's just a stuffed teddy-bear with a bow around his neck, but i lubs him ^_^

sorry if the description is a bit... descriptive, but i need this as much for my memory as it is for you guys, and blood and stuff doesn't weird me out too much. if no like, no read!

byes!

Kat

the silence is broken

today (well, yesterday actually X3. i'm writing this at 1 am) was the national day of silence. today, people around the country took an oath not to speak, to symbolize all of the voices not being heard in the LGBT community. today, many normally talkative people were eerie silent. it was both inspiring and scary.

anyway, today was... interesting. i randomly dressed up, and Rachel i swear it WAS random! don't look for any hidden/special meaning in it! i was participating in the day of silence, so i used a page of my agenda book and about two pages of one of my notebooks communicating with various people (mostly monotone-boy and chibi-chan, two members of a very select group of people that can read my handwriting). so apparently not wearing jeans under a dress, and wearing boots instead of converse dramatically changes my appearance, because i had two people (that are not my dear friends) call me 'pretty' today. oh, and Rachel called me 'sexeh'. not sure what that meant.......

but chemistry was good. we went over a worksheet that monotone-boy and i finished the day before, so he and i wasted paper with random conversation. oh, and chemistry-boy had to dress up for some reason, so he looked like a substitute teacher (black dress shoes, khaki pants, blue pinstripe button-down, red-and-black tie, and a gecko tie pin. i wanted that tie pin.). i informed him of that fact.

english, everyone (including the teacher) was participating in the day of silence, except for about 4 people, so we listened to music on the teacher's computer's speakers and i put in my ipod and zoned out for 45 minutes.

social studies: as usual, the astounding stupidity of my fellow human makes me ashamed to share a species with some of the specimens in that class. no offense to them, but from not knowing to what 'disregard' meant to attempting to make people that were participating in the Day, let it suffice to say that i was annoyed. but anyway, we watched a movie, so i read and zoned out.

math was nothing special, just normal stuff. we're having our final really early though, so we're starting to prepare for that.

biotech was fun though. after washing glassware for about half-an-hour (which i actually like), we had a short powerpoint of notes, then played with dry ice for the rest of the time. after getting a flask of very hot water, we dumped a bunch of solid CO2 chips in it and held a latex glove over it. there's videos of it exploding on facebook. i think. but anyway, after about the third glove, i decided to put a face on one, so we tried to blow that one up, but it didn't work, so we jabbed it with a pen to make it pop. and pop it did.

then, when everyone had left, there was still a bit of dry ice, so my teacher let me fill another beaker with more hot water and add that. after spending a few minutes in blissful contemplation of the 'fog' that erupted from the mouth of the flask, i decided to add food coloring to the water, so it looked like a dark blue solution was producing this white, misty fog. it. was. awesome. i think someone in the lab got a picture, so if i get it, i'll post it (if i can figure out how to do that)

nightnight

kat

you keep saying that you'll be there to catch me, so why are you constantly out of arms' reach...?

april 19-may 12= my hell

yeah. april 20th, envirothon county competition

april 29-30th, science olympiad state competition

may 1st, SAT's and post prom

may 5th, my driving test

and to wrap it all up,

may 11th, i present my graduation project. and my write-up was due today. and guess who forgot to turn it in?

that's really all that's happened lately. oh, and my friend's boyfriend (monotone-boy) just transferred to my chemistryclass. apparently, he was too smart for the prep class he was in before, and it took the school three marking periods to notice that and move him. he is now my new lab partner. so yeah, now i have two former (i think. it's... complicated lol) crushes in the same class. yay me.

better news:

i signed up for post prom! i'm not going to prom (don't want to spend $65 on a ticket, plus whatever a dress is, just to feel like a third wheel for 5 hours straight lol), especially right after i take my SAT's, but post prom sounds fun. there's gonna be a scavenger hunt and a masseuse and a 'casino' that isn't real and free food and airbrush tattoos! i wonder what i should get as my tattoo.... yes i'm definitely getting one X)

and signing up for post prom got me a free facial-thingy from a Mary Kay person. i know, *gasp* katherine doing something feminine?! BLASPHEMY!!!! well, i know. can i go with someone else? my mom probably won't let me lol

and i found a cool song, it's called 'Colors of the Rainbow' by dj septik. it's a bit over-synced, but i like the chorus. oh, and it has a few curse words in it, but i don't really mind.

actually, i found quite a few good songs. when my friend had to leave english class to go to a band practice (she plays the clarinet), her boyfriend and i were left alone. after a few minutes of conversation, the topic turned to our mutual love of rock/metal music, and we shared his ipod for the rest of the class. it felt..... i don't know. i can't really describe it. but i think it was sad more than anything...

*this is at 10:47 at night*

I just came up with something, that i think is rather good. it's about 'the box'. you know, as in 'think outside the box'? here's what people have to say about the box:

children: what box? can i play in it?

teenagers: we can't escape the box. the box is reality!

writers: i wonder what would happen if we make the box a triangle...

the school system: feel free to paint the inside of the box as pretty as you want, as long as you stay inside it. for your own protection of course. (can you tell i don't like our educational system?)

the world: there is no box.

me: heh heh. boxen.... (brian regan reference)

wow..... post-fail

Hey everyone! I got back from visiting MIT and Harvard!! MIT was nice, but Harvard.... eh, in my opinion it's full of snobs. no offense, Harvard-peeps. but it just felt like they were saying "Yeah, we're Harvard. We don't have to move on, we were on top, and everyone knows us. The end." Whereas MIT was saying "Sure, we're not at the top, but we're getting there! Oh look, we're on top! Now let's make being the best even better!"

Yeah, but sharing a car with chibi-chan for a total of about 17 hours (10 on the way up, 7 on the way back), and sharing a hotel room with her, I was pretty chibied-out. Now don't get me wrong, I love my chibi, but you know how you can love someone and want to strangle them?

Oh, and I just got a letter from the school. Apparently, I'm obese. Happy Easter, right?

Happy Easter everyone! Hope it sucks less than mine!!!